


Wedding Bell Blues

by AnnetheCatDetective



Series: Is This Love I'm Feeling [5]
Category: St. Elsewhere
Genre: Gen, Victor/Roberta mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 15:46:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: Jack has a very good excuse for not attending the wedding. So why doesn't it feel like enough?





	Wedding Bell Blues

    Victor’s really getting married.

 

    Jack is happy for him, of course. He wishes he knew Roberta a little better-- he wishes _Victor_ knew Roberta a little better-- but he’d be a bad friend if he couldn’t be happy for Victor finding a nice girl with handcuffs.

 

    He could be a better friend.

 

    It’s not that he’s jealous, exactly. He’s no more ready to move on than he was when he found the handcuffs, another thing he and Victor couldn’t talk about having in common. He’s kept his promise about not mentioning them to anyone, Victor included. It just seems like a hell of a limb to go out on with a guy, to say ‘hey, I’ve enjoyed doing that particular thing before’, on the off chance he actually meant he didn’t care about the cuffs much.

 

    No, even if they were on the same page, there’s no way for that conversation to be anything but awkward. The fact that Jack was accidentally somewhat handcuffed in Victor’s apartment _makes_ it awkward! If he tells Victor ‘so I think I like that thing you like’, Victor is going to feel uncomfortable. _Violated_ , even. And yes, of course Jack can try to assure him that he didn’t get off on it. But does it really make a difference? It would be a hell of a piece of news to dump on a friend even without anything like that.

 

    He’s set to be back in Seattle, over the wedding. He apologizes to Victor for missing the big day, but a part of him is relieved more than anything else. He wishes he knew Roberta a little better, but he doesn’t really want to _get_ to know her, he’s not comfortable getting to know her, he’s not comfortable going to the wedding. Having to dress up and stand around, and… well, it would mostly be people he knows, except for Roberta’s people. He just doesn’t know. It all seems so sudden. He’s sure she makes Victor happy and he’s happy for him having that, he just doesn’t know.

 

    He sends Victor a card, and a crepe pan, and he’s sorry not to have something better to write to him, something personal and heartfelt. He just doesn’t know what to write when he only really knows Victor. Even with Roberta working at St. Eligius, he never got to know her… He could write something personal to Victor, sure-- though he’s not sure _what_ \-- except that if he did that, it would be leaving her out, and that seems ruder than a little generic well-wishing.

 

    Of course Victor deserves to be happy, if Roberta is what makes him happy, Jack has to support that… Victor is a great guy. He’s so thoughtful, so… _sweet_ , sometimes. If anyone deserves to find a nice girl with handcuffs who just wants to make him happy, it’s Victor. Victor, who brought pasta salad and formula and diapers when Nina died, who fretted about being the right kind of surgeon even after being told he hadn’t killed his patient, who cares so much about what everyone around him thinks, and who can never seem to keep his foot out of his mouth and who always looks so upset with himself every time… of course he deserves someone to watch over him.

 

    And it’s not like Jack _can_ be jealous, because even if he was ready to move on, he _doesn’t_ know Roberta. All he knows is that she owns handcuffs, and that’s… nice, maybe, but it’s not enough. Jack isn’t looking for anything right now, let alone something like that. He doesn’t want to be the kind of friend who’d begrudge somebody else something he doesn’t have. After all, back when he was happy, Victor was never anything but happy for him. He can remember Victor talking about wanting to be married someday, cheerful and free from any jealousy-- not just a lack of jealousy, but a sense that he was happy Jack had that, even if he didn’t say as much. He can remember Victor asking after Nina, back when he’d met her maybe once before. He can remember Victor showing up to celebrate Pete’s birth. Victor’s never once been anything but happy for Jack’s own good fortune where family was concerned.

 

    That’s more than Jack can say for all of his friends. He _owes_ Victor the same support, the same shared happiness. He doesn’t want loss to make him into someone who can’t be wholly supportive, wholly happy for someone else.

 

    He just doesn’t want to go to his wedding.


End file.
